27 years ago today, my lovely wife Christy committed her life to mine and mine to hers. I couldn’t have been more blessed. I dedicate this devotion to her and the amazing blessing she has been in my life.
Our wedding message was Colossians 3:12-14
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of the specifics in the message that day, but I have seen these verses play out in our marriage and especially in Christy’s expression of love to me for these many years. Here are four reflections on what has kept our marriage together and growing all these years:
Share a common identity.
We are both God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.
One of the last things that couples consider in the person they consider marrying is spiritual intimacy. God created us with a soul to have connection with him and this spiritual connection is intended to give husband and wife a common foundation on which to build a marriage. I am so thankful that God has worked a tremendous faith and conviction of grace in my wife. She knows she is a holy, dearly loved child of God because of Jesus and sees me the same way. It’s our relationship with Jesus that allows all the other aspects of these verses to come into play.
Wear the right clothes.
I need to clean out my closet. I have things I haven’t worn in years and things that are too big or too small. Advice says to keep the things in your closet that you enjoy wearing and want to wear and get rid of the rest.
There are a lot of stinky clothes that I have worn in my actions and heart that have not always been compassionate, kind, humble, gentle or patient. Short words, self-centered actions, and lack of compassion to listen are just a small sample of the stinky clothes in my sinful wardrobe. Thankfully Christy is willing to tell me these clothes stink and to get rid of them (both physically and spiritually). Our relationship is much better with the amazing, always in fashion look of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. She looks amazing in them and I look pretty good when I put them on too!
Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.
Real estate people say the key to a building’s value is location, location, location. I would say the key to a lasting marriage is forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. I have far surpassed not just the “seven times” that Peter wanted to forgive his brother, but even 7×70 times (490). I am amazed a my wife’s heart to forgive, forgive and forgive again. I have been a slow…very slow…learner with some of the ways I have sinned against her. I can push her forgiveness limits, but yet her love for Jesus leads her to forgive…and we are probably well over 7x7x7x7x7x7x7 (or so) times!
Put on Christ’s love.
I type the word “Christ” a lot in my profession as a pastor. I don’t know how many times I have had to delete a “y” I accidentally tack on the end when I type “Christ” and it ends up “Christy.” I am worried that somewhere I have inaccurately substituted my wife for Christ! However, after 27 years of living with her, there is an amazing representation in Christy of Christ. The love of Christ has filled her more and more and her life as Christy is an amazing representation of the love of Christ. Christ has wrapped her in his love, and she is more than willing to wrap that same love around me.
Thank you Christy for being an amazing wife, a true friend and confidant, an encourager and partner in life, and most importantly showing and living Christ’s love for me and our girls every day. I pray I can be the same for you for many more years to come!
Apply: What application can you grow in to be a blessing in your marriage or other relationships?
Prayer: Lord, I simply thank you for the gift of my godly spouse and all she has brought to me through these years! Bless and guide our relationship for many years to come. AMEN